i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
