Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
