Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
