we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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