Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
