I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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