She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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