I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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