I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
