ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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