my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
How's work?
Spinning.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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