At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
