I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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