Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
MIDGETS
????
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
