your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
