you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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