Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
