I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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