love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
