I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
