She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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