This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
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One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
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I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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