Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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