I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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