it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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