these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
