great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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