make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
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