did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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