did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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