I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
