Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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