Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My bed smells like the plague
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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