I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
