so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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