I got her a Nickelback box set.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
