Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize