Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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