so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
