I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
