Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
