I wanna bring you to show and tell
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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