Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
