just tell him i said nine months
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
