My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
