you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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