he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
accomplished twins. life is a go
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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