why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
