remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
