i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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