just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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