i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize