I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
