Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
