butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
