Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
a search helicopter?!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
