the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
