Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize