I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize