Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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