hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize