I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
