At least make sure they are 18
Why
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
