Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
