You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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