So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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