I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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