Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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