Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
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Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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