I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
